Yatter Matters

Chloe is fine now - but ….. The other day, about an hour after Chloe’s walk on the beach, I called her for dinner. Normally when called for dinner, no time elapses between the call time and her arrival. Nothing … nothing … nothing … she was on the sofa in the TV room. As I approached, she started blinking. I helped her off the sofa only to find a large wet spot where she had urinated. Her blinking was now accompanied by rapid panting, and salivation. She was unable to stand. Taking her outside she immediately rolled onto her back, all fours pointing skyward. Concern grew with the realization that she may have eaten something toxic. Assuming neurological problems had developed I immediately took her to the veterinarian. Her heart rate was low and her staggering continued. “Go to Animal Emergency now!” were the instructions. Arriving, the emergency doctor reflected on the symptoms then said to me - “Yes, we see this a lot … I suspect your Golden is stoned!”

Reviewing our walk on the beach it seems that Chloe, must have eaten some marijuana. Either a left over joint, or part of a cookie laced with it. The toxicology screen reported by the vet claimed that it was the “highest level of marijuana she had ever seen!” I had no idea that dogs love marijuana or that they would eat it. Apparently for dogs, it doesn’t take much and is extremely toxic. Looking back at the symptoms she was really stoned. Even her eyes were glassy. The initial “neurological” symptoms are now understandable but others have developed. After a night in detox and $1,000 later, my little pothead puppy is now home. She has had the munchies big-time and is looking for sex. She now refuses to wear any collar that isn’t tie-dyed, has a bandana around her head and is sporting granny glasses. When I asked if she was interested in going for a walk this morning she replied, “Cool, far out … let me grab my shades”. She is very much looking forward to attending the Folk Festival later in the summer as many of her friends will be there. I have gathered friends and family and we have conducted an intervention for her. She has admitted that she is powerless over this substance and is now trying to make amends to those she may have hurt. I have posted the “Serenity Prayer” above her water dish. Admitting that one has a problem is the first step. I have set up counseling sessions and she is sharing her message with other dogs. It is my hope that she has learned her lesson with this little experiment and not proceed onto more sinister substances.

Note: potentially offensive material (to some) has been edited With a view to better health it is wise to keep your pal tethered.

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